die sieben Gestalten saugen

I don't want to study for this stupid fucking midterm.
I don't want to do my stupid fucking presentation tonight.
I do apparently want to fill my LJ with enough profanity for a shipload of sailors.

Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah!

I have decided however that if I can actually remember the 7 Gestalt Principles, the 10 Rules of Good Design and the stupid 13 Telltale Amateur Signs I will at least do okay. I hate memorizing useless crap that I need regurgitate once and never think about again. Why the motherfuck need I remember that 12 points = 1 pica; that 6 picas = 1 inch and that 72 points = 1 inch. I don't. Because I can always look shit like that up. My brain has a very small capacity for remembering anything. So I write everything down in useful little blurbs for myself. My computer is definitely akin to Dumbledore's Pensieve. I write shit down so I don't have to clutter up my brain. Dammit. Stupid midterm. I'm feeling extraordinarily juvenile about this.

Have decided to take a box of Trader Joes Chocolate Cat Cookies to my presentation and at least distract my audience with food. Hopefully they'll be too busy chewing to stare at me. I hate being looked at. Hate it! I mean, it's one thing to make eye contact or look at someone when you're talking to them. But it's another thing entirely to have a class load of eyeballs fixed on one. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. I feel like I will explode from the fixed concentration of so many pupils.

Meow.

mowr mowr

I don't want to do a presentation.
I don't want to talk in front of a group of people.
I don't care that they're not scary to me anymore.
I'll get up there and I'll disregard my notes.
I'll get up there and forget half a dozen critical points.
I'll get up there and accidentally catch eyes with someone and that'll flummox me.
I'll get up there and desperately have to pee or vomit.
I'll get up there and I'll DIE.

*cries*

jeff_nw promises that I didn't appear to be a spaz during my presentation during first quarter's dreadful thingie, but a) he LIES and b) I was hiding behind a computer thingie and talking about web dev which is where I eat lunch, so was less scary than this.

mowr mowr mowr.

Public speaking is BAD. Very very BAD.

Argh! OMFG am total spaz!!!!

I know they'll be nice about it.
I know no one is going to throw things at me.
I know they'll applaud no matter how badly I suck.

It doesn't matter! We haaaates it! It burrnsss us! We wants to put out their eyeses so they can'ts looks at us!

*hisss* *feral growl* *raised hackles*

*pause*

Wow do I feel bad for the poor miserable telemarketer who just called.

Her: Hi! This is Jackie with BlahCorp. How are yo-
Me: ARGGGRGHHHHHHHH!!!! *slams phone down*

Eeek. Time to go. Now. *wail*