the ones i left behind
Apr. 10th, 2004 01:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbicideIn other sad news, I heard today from my girlfriend W that she's moved back to San Francisco. The unsaid message was that she'd left her previous living arrangements with her longtime honey, R. They were a great couple, but she wanted to get married, he didn't. Ever. He wanted to stay together forever, but didn't want the formality of a marriage certificate. Having spent time with both of them, it was clear he adored her, so I never could quite understand his motivation.
I think if it wouldn't cause my parents a heart attack and deny me legal benefits, I don't know that I would need to be married. But then, I've never been with someone in a long enough term relationship to want that and be denied it. And I think if it was important to my partner, then it would be important to me. And again, federal/state benefits.
While my bias is obvious, I think the loser here is R. I'm sad that he couldn't work through his demons and propose. Though I wonder after the years of frustration if W would have even had him at the end. After all, do you want to marry someone who is only doing it to appease you? So for those reasons, since they had been and would apparently forever be at an impasse, I'm glad she's moved on. If she wants to be married, if that's what she needs, she's not going to get it from R. As she's a beautiful, fascinating and accomplished woman, I know some lucky guy will soon snap her up.
Also caught up tonight with my crazy friend, Bat-Adri. W's email reminded me of all the friends I'd left behind in the Bay Area. It seems like a hundred years ago. Must call Mande, though she's not in the Bay Area anymore. Shit, should write Chuck, too. Ooo and Nikki.
And Amy finally moved into her new home!! I'm so excited for her. This past year has been tough on her in many ways. She's wanted to be a homeowner for so long. It was something she needed and now finally has and thus yay! She can join the ranks and be Home Depot's bitch like the rest of the mortgage crowd.
I think if it wouldn't cause my parents a heart attack and deny me legal benefits, I don't know that I would need to be married. But then, I've never been with someone in a long enough term relationship to want that and be denied it. And I think if it was important to my partner, then it would be important to me. And again, federal/state benefits.
While my bias is obvious, I think the loser here is R. I'm sad that he couldn't work through his demons and propose. Though I wonder after the years of frustration if W would have even had him at the end. After all, do you want to marry someone who is only doing it to appease you? So for those reasons, since they had been and would apparently forever be at an impasse, I'm glad she's moved on. If she wants to be married, if that's what she needs, she's not going to get it from R. As she's a beautiful, fascinating and accomplished woman, I know some lucky guy will soon snap her up.
Also caught up tonight with my crazy friend, Bat-Adri. W's email reminded me of all the friends I'd left behind in the Bay Area. It seems like a hundred years ago. Must call Mande, though she's not in the Bay Area anymore. Shit, should write Chuck, too. Ooo and Nikki.
And Amy finally moved into her new home!! I'm so excited for her. This past year has been tough on her in many ways. She's wanted to be a homeowner for so long. It was something she needed and now finally has and thus yay! She can join the ranks and be Home Depot's bitch like the rest of the mortgage crowd.
