verbicide | there are many things that i would like to say to you, but i don't know how (Reply)

Blah.

It's a beautiful day. Crappy moods should align themselves with bad weather.

I feel whiny and sad and frustrated and generally miserable today. I can't even say why. I just do. It would make sense to get busy and distract myself, but I don't have the patience and energy for it.

I should work on my Info Plan because it's due Tuesday.
I should straighten up my flat because Willi'll be here on Thursday.
I should work on half a dozen projects I have going on.

I hate not having health care and not being able to go to a doctor when I need to.
I hate teetering on the edge of anemia and feeling that plunge into weakness.
I hate feeling scared and retreating behind a wall of cowardly silence.

I wish I had half the confidence in myself I had at 18.
I wish I wasn't such an emotional basketcase.
I wish I could grab myself by the ear and haul myself out of this bad mood.

I will call local free clinics and not neglect this issue.
I will crawl into bed and read SiP.
I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender.