pardon me while i burst into flames
Aug. 24th, 2004 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbicideAmanda is a step aerobics instructor at Sound Mind & Body.
Ellie started to go to her classes. Then Judy. Now Jeanne. They worship Amanda. People schedule their vacations around Amanda's schedule. Amanda is going on vacation for a week to get married, people are despondent.
I hate working out in front of other people. I mean, I can survive the treadmill and even quietly do weight-training. But I hate it and would be happier if there were no other people on the planet while I did them. In spite of all my bluster, I can be painfully shy and self conscious. I never would consider doing an aerobics class with other people. And those big mirrors. And the requirement of basic motor coordination.
But all my friends are doing it. And they always fucking talk about Amanda. And how they love her. And how they can't come out to dinner, because they have to go to Amanda's class. And did I mention my friends are all obscenely thin and beautiful and if they weren't my friends I would have to make them sleep with the fishies?
So I started asking Jeanne and Judy if they thought I could do it. Because I am a wimp. And my friends, I'm sure, would discourage me from something like attempting to climb Mt. Everest because they know that I would die. Jeanne thought I could totally do it. Judy thought I could, but knows my visceral hatred of making a public spectacle of myself, so was cautiously encouraging. Ellie was excited I might come. They kept sending me supportive emails all day trying to coax me into coming, while simultaneously making it okay if I didn't. Gah.
So finally, I decided I would try. Then I decided to hide under my desk. Then I decided I wouldn't go today, because today's class was out in Madison Park. I called Greg to see if he would talk me into going. And tell me not to be a chicken, but I couldn't get a hold of him. So I talked to Hobbes who yawned and rolled over onto his back. That was very helpful.
Then I got angry with myself for being such a weenie. Then I realized that it was 4:30 and if I didn't leave immediately, I would actually NOT be able to make it. So before any more synapses could fire, I threw on my inadequately supporting shoes and workout pants and tee and ran out the door.
I got there, I paid my one-day fee and bought some socks since my last pair have a hole in the toe, and I wasn't going to try to do this with a hole-y sock for chrissakes. Ellie came in and hugged me. We traipsed upstairs, where Jeanne was already waiting, having set up all of our steps. Jeanne hugged me. Not only did I not throw up and run out of the room, I calmly chatted with them while darting my eyes around for all the easy exits.
I haven't done step in years. I have the motor coordination of a platypus. Anyone commenting on the agile nature of the platypus will be summarily executed.
I can see why they love Amanda. She's incredibly nice. She came over and we chatted a bit about my experience and her suggestions on which weights I should start out with, etc. Then class started. Holy crap. It is an advanced class (not the smartest to start out with, but that's the one with Amanda and the ones my friends take, dammit) and my god. I did the best I could. Which means I sucked ass. But I didn't fall off my step (like Judy did her first time, and which was my greatest fear for myself) and I didn't have to stop. I fell back into the basic step when the moves got too complicated and I didn't pass out or have a heart attack. Then the weights. I thought that part would be easy because I've generally been fine with weights. But oh, right, that was before I stopped doing weight training last year. Huh. Funny how muscles atrophy. So that hurt hurt hurt. And then we finished off with some grueling abs.
To. The. Pain.
My friends were amazingly supportive. Which doesn't surprise me, because well, they are freakishly nice people. I still can't help but feel like a total git. Judy could probably teach the class. She bounds and leaps and springs. I felt like a water buffalo. A slow one. In a room full of greyhounds. Dear god. The mirrors. They were everywhere. I did my best to not look, but would occasionally catch sight of my sweaty, red face. Bleh.
Since this is a class full of regulars, it was obvious I was new (in addition to my performance, that is), and a number of people were nice enough to come up to me at the end of class and tell me I did great and congratulate me for surviving it. I wanted to hide under the stack of mats, but I didn't. Amanda was great and has ordered me to come twice a week with the others. I mean, maybe I should be proud, as Judy kept insisting on bellowing at me, for making it through the class. But I hate sucking at things. And I hate feeling like a loser. And public situations like this always make me feel ashamed that I'm not at a better fitness level.
But I'm going to keep going. Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was a great workout, I sweated buckets and every inch of me has that good-workout-burn. I need to buy some decent cross-trainers tomorrow. That is if I am able to walk.
I can't believe I'm going back.
Ellie started to go to her classes. Then Judy. Now Jeanne. They worship Amanda. People schedule their vacations around Amanda's schedule. Amanda is going on vacation for a week to get married, people are despondent.
I hate working out in front of other people. I mean, I can survive the treadmill and even quietly do weight-training. But I hate it and would be happier if there were no other people on the planet while I did them. In spite of all my bluster, I can be painfully shy and self conscious. I never would consider doing an aerobics class with other people. And those big mirrors. And the requirement of basic motor coordination.
But all my friends are doing it. And they always fucking talk about Amanda. And how they love her. And how they can't come out to dinner, because they have to go to Amanda's class. And did I mention my friends are all obscenely thin and beautiful and if they weren't my friends I would have to make them sleep with the fishies?
So I started asking Jeanne and Judy if they thought I could do it. Because I am a wimp. And my friends, I'm sure, would discourage me from something like attempting to climb Mt. Everest because they know that I would die. Jeanne thought I could totally do it. Judy thought I could, but knows my visceral hatred of making a public spectacle of myself, so was cautiously encouraging. Ellie was excited I might come. They kept sending me supportive emails all day trying to coax me into coming, while simultaneously making it okay if I didn't. Gah.
So finally, I decided I would try. Then I decided to hide under my desk. Then I decided I wouldn't go today, because today's class was out in Madison Park. I called Greg to see if he would talk me into going. And tell me not to be a chicken, but I couldn't get a hold of him. So I talked to Hobbes who yawned and rolled over onto his back. That was very helpful.
Then I got angry with myself for being such a weenie. Then I realized that it was 4:30 and if I didn't leave immediately, I would actually NOT be able to make it. So before any more synapses could fire, I threw on my inadequately supporting shoes and workout pants and tee and ran out the door.
I got there, I paid my one-day fee and bought some socks since my last pair have a hole in the toe, and I wasn't going to try to do this with a hole-y sock for chrissakes. Ellie came in and hugged me. We traipsed upstairs, where Jeanne was already waiting, having set up all of our steps. Jeanne hugged me. Not only did I not throw up and run out of the room, I calmly chatted with them while darting my eyes around for all the easy exits.
I haven't done step in years. I have the motor coordination of a platypus. Anyone commenting on the agile nature of the platypus will be summarily executed.
I can see why they love Amanda. She's incredibly nice. She came over and we chatted a bit about my experience and her suggestions on which weights I should start out with, etc. Then class started. Holy crap. It is an advanced class (not the smartest to start out with, but that's the one with Amanda and the ones my friends take, dammit) and my god. I did the best I could. Which means I sucked ass. But I didn't fall off my step (like Judy did her first time, and which was my greatest fear for myself) and I didn't have to stop. I fell back into the basic step when the moves got too complicated and I didn't pass out or have a heart attack. Then the weights. I thought that part would be easy because I've generally been fine with weights. But oh, right, that was before I stopped doing weight training last year. Huh. Funny how muscles atrophy. So that hurt hurt hurt. And then we finished off with some grueling abs.
To. The. Pain.
My friends were amazingly supportive. Which doesn't surprise me, because well, they are freakishly nice people. I still can't help but feel like a total git. Judy could probably teach the class. She bounds and leaps and springs. I felt like a water buffalo. A slow one. In a room full of greyhounds. Dear god. The mirrors. They were everywhere. I did my best to not look, but would occasionally catch sight of my sweaty, red face. Bleh.
Since this is a class full of regulars, it was obvious I was new (in addition to my performance, that is), and a number of people were nice enough to come up to me at the end of class and tell me I did great and congratulate me for surviving it. I wanted to hide under the stack of mats, but I didn't. Amanda was great and has ordered me to come twice a week with the others. I mean, maybe I should be proud, as Judy kept insisting on bellowing at me, for making it through the class. But I hate sucking at things. And I hate feeling like a loser. And public situations like this always make me feel ashamed that I'm not at a better fitness level.
But I'm going to keep going. Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was a great workout, I sweated buckets and every inch of me has that good-workout-burn. I need to buy some decent cross-trainers tomorrow. That is if I am able to walk.
I can't believe I'm going back.
