pardon me while i burst into flames
Aug. 24th, 2004 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbicideAmanda is a step aerobics instructor at Sound Mind & Body.
Ellie started to go to her classes. Then Judy. Now Jeanne. They worship Amanda. People schedule their vacations around Amanda's schedule. Amanda is going on vacation for a week to get married, people are despondent.
I hate working out in front of other people. I mean, I can survive the treadmill and even quietly do weight-training. But I hate it and would be happier if there were no other people on the planet while I did them. In spite of all my bluster, I can be painfully shy and self conscious. I never would consider doing an aerobics class with other people. And those big mirrors. And the requirement of basic motor coordination.
But all my friends are doing it. And they always fucking talk about Amanda. And how they love her. And how they can't come out to dinner, because they have to go to Amanda's class. And did I mention my friends are all obscenely thin and beautiful and if they weren't my friends I would have to make them sleep with the fishies?
So I started asking Jeanne and Judy if they thought I could do it. Because I am a wimp. And my friends, I'm sure, would discourage me from something like attempting to climb Mt. Everest because they know that I would die. Jeanne thought I could totally do it. Judy thought I could, but knows my visceral hatred of making a public spectacle of myself, so was cautiously encouraging. Ellie was excited I might come. They kept sending me supportive emails all day trying to coax me into coming, while simultaneously making it okay if I didn't. Gah.
So finally, I decided I would try. Then I decided to hide under my desk. Then I decided I wouldn't go today, because today's class was out in Madison Park. I called Greg to see if he would talk me into going. And tell me not to be a chicken, but I couldn't get a hold of him. So I talked to Hobbes who yawned and rolled over onto his back. That was very helpful.
Then I got angry with myself for being such a weenie. Then I realized that it was 4:30 and if I didn't leave immediately, I would actually NOT be able to make it. So before any more synapses could fire, I threw on my inadequately supporting shoes and workout pants and tee and ran out the door.
I got there, I paid my one-day fee and bought some socks since my last pair have a hole in the toe, and I wasn't going to try to do this with a hole-y sock for chrissakes. Ellie came in and hugged me. We traipsed upstairs, where Jeanne was already waiting, having set up all of our steps. Jeanne hugged me. Not only did I not throw up and run out of the room, I calmly chatted with them while darting my eyes around for all the easy exits.
I haven't done step in years. I have the motor coordination of a platypus. Anyone commenting on the agile nature of the platypus will be summarily executed.
I can see why they love Amanda. She's incredibly nice. She came over and we chatted a bit about my experience and her suggestions on which weights I should start out with, etc. Then class started. Holy crap. It is an advanced class (not the smartest to start out with, but that's the one with Amanda and the ones my friends take, dammit) and my god. I did the best I could. Which means I sucked ass. But I didn't fall off my step (like Judy did her first time, and which was my greatest fear for myself) and I didn't have to stop. I fell back into the basic step when the moves got too complicated and I didn't pass out or have a heart attack. Then the weights. I thought that part would be easy because I've generally been fine with weights. But oh, right, that was before I stopped doing weight training last year. Huh. Funny how muscles atrophy. So that hurt hurt hurt. And then we finished off with some grueling abs.
To. The. Pain.
My friends were amazingly supportive. Which doesn't surprise me, because well, they are freakishly nice people. I still can't help but feel like a total git. Judy could probably teach the class. She bounds and leaps and springs. I felt like a water buffalo. A slow one. In a room full of greyhounds. Dear god. The mirrors. They were everywhere. I did my best to not look, but would occasionally catch sight of my sweaty, red face. Bleh.
Since this is a class full of regulars, it was obvious I was new (in addition to my performance, that is), and a number of people were nice enough to come up to me at the end of class and tell me I did great and congratulate me for surviving it. I wanted to hide under the stack of mats, but I didn't. Amanda was great and has ordered me to come twice a week with the others. I mean, maybe I should be proud, as Judy kept insisting on bellowing at me, for making it through the class. But I hate sucking at things. And I hate feeling like a loser. And public situations like this always make me feel ashamed that I'm not at a better fitness level.
But I'm going to keep going. Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was a great workout, I sweated buckets and every inch of me has that good-workout-burn. I need to buy some decent cross-trainers tomorrow. That is if I am able to walk.
I can't believe I'm going back.
Ellie started to go to her classes. Then Judy. Now Jeanne. They worship Amanda. People schedule their vacations around Amanda's schedule. Amanda is going on vacation for a week to get married, people are despondent.
I hate working out in front of other people. I mean, I can survive the treadmill and even quietly do weight-training. But I hate it and would be happier if there were no other people on the planet while I did them. In spite of all my bluster, I can be painfully shy and self conscious. I never would consider doing an aerobics class with other people. And those big mirrors. And the requirement of basic motor coordination.
But all my friends are doing it. And they always fucking talk about Amanda. And how they love her. And how they can't come out to dinner, because they have to go to Amanda's class. And did I mention my friends are all obscenely thin and beautiful and if they weren't my friends I would have to make them sleep with the fishies?
So I started asking Jeanne and Judy if they thought I could do it. Because I am a wimp. And my friends, I'm sure, would discourage me from something like attempting to climb Mt. Everest because they know that I would die. Jeanne thought I could totally do it. Judy thought I could, but knows my visceral hatred of making a public spectacle of myself, so was cautiously encouraging. Ellie was excited I might come. They kept sending me supportive emails all day trying to coax me into coming, while simultaneously making it okay if I didn't. Gah.
So finally, I decided I would try. Then I decided to hide under my desk. Then I decided I wouldn't go today, because today's class was out in Madison Park. I called Greg to see if he would talk me into going. And tell me not to be a chicken, but I couldn't get a hold of him. So I talked to Hobbes who yawned and rolled over onto his back. That was very helpful.
Then I got angry with myself for being such a weenie. Then I realized that it was 4:30 and if I didn't leave immediately, I would actually NOT be able to make it. So before any more synapses could fire, I threw on my inadequately supporting shoes and workout pants and tee and ran out the door.
I got there, I paid my one-day fee and bought some socks since my last pair have a hole in the toe, and I wasn't going to try to do this with a hole-y sock for chrissakes. Ellie came in and hugged me. We traipsed upstairs, where Jeanne was already waiting, having set up all of our steps. Jeanne hugged me. Not only did I not throw up and run out of the room, I calmly chatted with them while darting my eyes around for all the easy exits.
I haven't done step in years. I have the motor coordination of a platypus. Anyone commenting on the agile nature of the platypus will be summarily executed.
I can see why they love Amanda. She's incredibly nice. She came over and we chatted a bit about my experience and her suggestions on which weights I should start out with, etc. Then class started. Holy crap. It is an advanced class (not the smartest to start out with, but that's the one with Amanda and the ones my friends take, dammit) and my god. I did the best I could. Which means I sucked ass. But I didn't fall off my step (like Judy did her first time, and which was my greatest fear for myself) and I didn't have to stop. I fell back into the basic step when the moves got too complicated and I didn't pass out or have a heart attack. Then the weights. I thought that part would be easy because I've generally been fine with weights. But oh, right, that was before I stopped doing weight training last year. Huh. Funny how muscles atrophy. So that hurt hurt hurt. And then we finished off with some grueling abs.
To. The. Pain.
My friends were amazingly supportive. Which doesn't surprise me, because well, they are freakishly nice people. I still can't help but feel like a total git. Judy could probably teach the class. She bounds and leaps and springs. I felt like a water buffalo. A slow one. In a room full of greyhounds. Dear god. The mirrors. They were everywhere. I did my best to not look, but would occasionally catch sight of my sweaty, red face. Bleh.
Since this is a class full of regulars, it was obvious I was new (in addition to my performance, that is), and a number of people were nice enough to come up to me at the end of class and tell me I did great and congratulate me for surviving it. I wanted to hide under the stack of mats, but I didn't. Amanda was great and has ordered me to come twice a week with the others. I mean, maybe I should be proud, as Judy kept insisting on bellowing at me, for making it through the class. But I hate sucking at things. And I hate feeling like a loser. And public situations like this always make me feel ashamed that I'm not at a better fitness level.
But I'm going to keep going. Tuesday and Thursday nights. It was a great workout, I sweated buckets and every inch of me has that good-workout-burn. I need to buy some decent cross-trainers tomorrow. That is if I am able to walk.
I can't believe I'm going back.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 05:16 am (UTC)Sleep with the fishies???
This post cracked me up. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:17 am (UTC)All I can say is that you have NO IDEA how perverted this woman is! I would explain, but it would make me look rediculous, and a man in my position can't afford to look rediculous!
(*sigh* She just HAD to come along with her olive oil voice and Paki charm and RUIN me...)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 12:24 pm (UTC)Sure we do. I thought it was pretty obvious. How long have you known her, anyway?
Personally, I'd be more concerned with looking ridiculous for misspelling "ridiculous." :-D
Cat, congrats on going, and surviving.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 02:00 pm (UTC)Sure we do. I thought it was pretty obvious. How long have you known her, anyway?
Hee. Phonesexvoice.
*runs*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:47 pm (UTC)SARAH! *bellows*
God. The things having a cadre of horny techboys for minions will do to your reputation.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:49 pm (UTC)Thanks, Jimabeans! :D
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 01:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 05:40 pm (UTC)It's a dirty job, but someone had to do it.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 05:36 pm (UTC)Okay. It kinda was fun. Except for the excruciating pain part *grin*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:19 am (UTC)(Okay, I didn't get any laundry done last night, so I'm going home 'early' to do it, now. I'll call you as soon as I get the machines loaded. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:51 pm (UTC)Hope the pizza wasn't too cold *grin*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:53 pm (UTC)Scarier than that is: I'm going back.
This morning is hilarious. I can't walk properly. Hobbes is very bemused by my pained shuffling.
Oh! Oh! Are you going to be here on a Thursday? You ARE! You can come, too! You too can be in pain!!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:57 pm (UTC)*bambi eyes*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 07:05 pm (UTC)Oh you know you want to come and be part of the Amanda-fun!
It'll make the points for the gyro I'm buying you easier to swallow! *grin*
Oh my GOD! You're going to live here! You TOO can join the Cult of Amanda!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 07:45 pm (UTC)If you move here and want to do it regularly, then they have various options. A punch card, and 3, 6, and 12 mos memberships. I'm going to start out with a punch card and then move up to membership if I actually make it through going regularly for 2 months.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:16 pm (UTC)Hellooo Casey. Those are dangerous.
When's the next issue out? Wah.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:23 pm (UTC)Seriously. You could kill a man with those things.
And the next one is due September 1st! *bounce*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:33 pm (UTC)*runs around*
Well.
*hobbles around*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 09:05 pm (UTC)This better be as big of a deal as he's implied. And it better not piss me off.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 09:33 am (UTC)Stop doing that! Cat is very sensitive about people who make the sound Mmmh! :D
no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 03:33 pm (UTC)>.<
no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 05:05 pm (UTC)Can't say I blame you, but let me put your mind at ease. The only thing dirty here is the look I'm giving
no subject
Date: 2004-08-27 05:14 am (UTC)*Clutches ring in hand*
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Date: 2004-08-27 05:20 am (UTC)BILBO IS NOT NAPOLEON, YOU FREAKY FREAKY MAN!!!! *shriek*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-26 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 03:44 pm (UTC)One that I am well acquainted with, BTW. The only reason I'm not still in Nancy's lunch-hour step class (sounds like Nancy and Amanda went to the same Fitness Instruction School!) is because the doc told me it was a major no-no. (Something about having one's knee fold up on one in the middle of a routine will prompt such advice from said physician.)
'Course, now I'm just doing the life-cycle and then weights. It works, but it's not as much fun.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-25 06:59 pm (UTC)Yeah, there's something about these classes that is very masochistic. But in a good way!
My senior year of college, I had a group of really good friends and we lived, breathed, and ate our hard sciences lab work. We went to class together, grabbed a bite together, and then closed the library together. It was a really hard and often (on exam days) painful time. But I remember that as one of the best times of my life. Something about surviving something with other people.
That's what this feel like. It's really hard, but surviving it together fosters such camaraderie.
I would love to start doing weight-work again. More than just the toning in Amanda's class. It's amazing how much of a difference that made.
Wierd Amanda Cult Comment
Date: 2004-08-25 04:24 pm (UTC)kisses,
jeff
Re: Wierd Amanda Cult Comment
Date: 2004-08-25 07:02 pm (UTC)No way. How random. Did Bruce need a 10-step (ha!!) program to leave her? Was there an intervention?
You know, I just finished reading The Stepford Wives (for bookclub), and I have to admit I was staring somewhat suspiciously at Amanda's perfect body and striking good looks.