mrgh

Just woke up from the strangest dream and realized I've been having it for a few days in a row.

It centers around a toy store, with my sister-in-law S as proprietor. She's hired a middle-aged Chinese woman, Li, to work, who brings her 6 year old daughter with her. S is really kind of a mean, obnoxious boss. Li seems to be mean too, but is really desperate and freaked about her daughter who is very withdrawn and almost sullen. The daughter, Minh, has developed a tendency to pick up the little toy army figurines that have fallen onto the ground and put them in her pocket. The toy store has three long tables with toys just flowing over in chaos, and Li is supposed to pick up the toys that have fallen onto the ground and arrange them into tiny cubbyholes that line the store. And she does this while constantly berating her daughter. "Minh! Stop touching that!" "Minh, (turning to the customers), you see my daughter? You see how she doesn't love me?" "Minh, you're so disobedient!" It was like being stuck in Joy Luck Hell or something. Finally S turns to her and rolls her eyes, saying, "You know Li, she's never going to get a PhD if you don't get her out of that day care program." Which of course is the only one the Li can afford.

And Just as David Hyde-Pierce showed up to save the day, my alarm went off.

hoom!

Haven't mentioned in at least a day how much I love Season 6 Xfiles. Purrrr.

Finished cleaning bedroom and went through random stacks of crap to purge or file. That was exciting. Now I have to organize too many cds that I hauled up from garage storage.

Company holiday party tonight as John, one of company triumvirate heads, will be in town! Finally get to meet the rest of the Seattle telecommuting team. CS will pick me up so I don't even have to deal with downtown traffic. How exciting is that?

First day of class tomorrow. Hrm. Just bought my textbooks from half.com and won't have it in time for class. Bugger. Should get here soon, though and I'll have saved over $50 which is very, very exciting. Also placed TC400 book for sale. It would be extraordinary if someone actually bought it and gave me money for it. God I hated that book. What an overpriced waste.

It's going to be awfully strange having a school thingie on Saturdays. Keep thinking I have all weekend, but then I don't, do I?

Off to clean kitchen now *glum*

bird masturbation

Yes. That was the topic of discussion after a few round of beers tonight.

The best part of it was the incredulous look on John's face. He paused. Told CS to hang on a second while he took a sip of his beer, because he wouldn't be able to drink and listen to this story. And then kept pushing his take-home box of leftovers at her saying, "Ok, so pretend this is the head and this is the tail" over and over again. CS preferred to demonstrate for us using her hand and made actual honest to god excited bird sounds.

I thought I was going to have a seizure.

The explanation just kept getting funnier and funnier. She was saying, "Well, and so he has these mirrors on his cage," and here John smirked and said, "Kinky!" and CS would move on and add, "and a swing" and we're just dying. Just dying. Absolutely dying. Did I mention dying? Craig earnestly offered her his digital video camera, urging her to video tape this. And CS is telling us how her kids would invite over other kids to watch this. Yes, the Birdie Sex Show, live in Northgate!

This story was almost topped by the expressions and hand gestures John made while telling us a story about some psycho cat who would sit in the kitchen, rev itself up, then race to the living room and as John put it: *boing*boing*boing*boing* in place, then run to another room and *boing*boing*boing*boing* there.

I would have given up chocolate for a year to have had a video tape of tonight.

John drunk? Best thing ever. It was also fantastic to meet Craig who is freaking hilarious and downright cool.

Other things discussed:

eating internal organs
animal parts found unexpectedly in food in other countries
mountain lions attacks
hormones in milk; the virtue of soy and rice alternatives; whole vs 2% vs nonfat; a lot of milk stories actually beyond this too
crazy animal behavior, but that's probably already pretty obvious (largely cat stories)

That? Was fucking fun.