do not trust to hope, it has forsaken these lands

Harper's Weekly was particularly depressing this week. Judy and John were just on that particular metro line a few months ago in Spain. Judy and I were talking about this last night; we're so terrified something is going to happen here again. I try not to think about it, but my life has been so charmed thus far, I don't want to lose someone I love. I don't want any of us to.

Watching LotR:TT:EE. Yeah. Again. So there will be some lustful rambling later about Karl Urban's straight, sexy, white, glorious teeth. And Sean Bean! Is it weird that out of all the creatures of Middle Earth, the one I most relate to is Gollum? Watching him freakily battle his inner demons was all too familiar. Though of course I share Eowyn's frustration of being a woman in a man's world. Not that I'm half so tough as she is.

Freaked out a bit earlier when realized my account had dipped particularly low and checking was overdrawn. Shit. Ran to the bank to deposit some money. Being out late at night gives me such mixed emotions. On the one hand, I like it. It's dark. It's peaceful. No traffic. On the other hand, it makes me feel so vulnerable. This isn't a dangerous neighborhood or anything, but I know my limitations. I probably couldn't outrun a determined Girl Scout and my self-defense abilities are pitiful. Every time I'm walking out alone, it reminds me that I should get off my ass and take a basic self-defense course. But then I come home, to the comfort and imagined safety of my flat and all common sense is forgotten.

Hobbes is so pissed off at me. Earlier, I locked him out of the bedroom so I could eat some chicken in peace. When I finally opened the door, he gave me the most wounded, betrayed look ever. He still isn't speaking to me.

enh?

I'm disturbed. It's 8:30am and I'm freaking wide awake. Have been since 7am. Why? Why? I didn't go to bed all that early.

It's all rainy and grey outside. Blah. Can't wait for some California sunshine. And nice, chewy LA smog, too. Hee!

I have to get so much shit done today. Waaah!! It makes no sense. I'm bored, but I don't want to do any errands either. Regardless, first order of business after work today is to get some damn duplicate keys made. Next, must grocery shop for kitty-things to last 10 days. Waaaahhh!! I'm going to miss Hobbsie. Ok, must not think about it yet or will cry.

Someone on survivorallstar was nice enough to remind us that the new episode is TONIGHT, not tomorrow. I hate that they do this midseason switch to Wednesdays. I almost always miss it. BUT NOT TONIGHT! Oh, wait, cept I have dinner plans. Doh. Must TAPE. MUST NOT FORGET TO TAPE!

Shit, Judy just emailed me. We're going to dinner at Fandango and that's kind of expensive. AND POINTY. I can easily afford the points right now with the whole personal famine thing, but don't wanna. And god it's expensive. Well, that works out. I can order soup or something. Judy wants me to go and hold her hand because Ellie tends to glower at us for being so food cautious lately. She keeps belligerently chanting things like "spinach artichoke dip??" at us as we hide under the table because hello, deep fried tortilla chips and a pound of cheese. We're afraid she's going to get drunk and shriek at us tonight. Mortified in front of the Teen Beat Bitch Squad, no less.

Wow, I'm awake and I'm LOUD.

I want the plane ride to be OVER with. I hate flying *whine* The last time I flew to LA, it was perfect. I stayed up the entire night before and was completely unconscious before takeoff and until we landed. Since I'm flying in the afternoon this time, I'll be awake and white-knuckled through it. Maybe, maybe I won't go to bed tonight, so that by tomorrow afternoon I'll be COMPLETELY fucked. I can always collapse into my parents bed when I get to LA. Ooo my parents bed. I am such a 5 year old, but it is the safest place in the world. I think my parents have a dinner thing planned for tomorrow. I should endeavor to be conscious for it, though, huh?

Why am I awake NOW? *bemused* Ok, this is ridiculous. I'm going to go back to bed and just read or something. Because HELLO SPRING BREAK! Why am I even UP!

one more hour!!

And I'm a free woman!!

Also, just got my grade for that appalling waste of time class, TC402. I managed a 3.7 which --I don't even fucking care that it's not a 4.0. Maybe that makes me a weak and worthless person, but I don't care!! It's OVER.

After the seething, enraged feedback this woman received from at least half the class, I'm curious to see if UW will actually hire her again. My cynical guess is: probably, but I sure hope not. No one needs to be subjected to such spirit-sucking boredom. Oh, and not to mention the trivial detail of not actually learning the course material.

Ooo 50 more minutes left to freedom! *dances*

gone! gone! gone! smeagol is freeeeee!!

FREEEEDOM! (Beauty, Truth, and Love?--oops Moulin Rouge flashback)

I can't believe I don't have to work again until March 29th. Say it with me: March Twenty-Ninth. Just let it roll right off your tongue. Is that not a beautiful thing? Purrrrrrr.

Just emailed Judy, I'm going to be a coward and back out of dinner tonight. Too many things to do before I leave and between the expensiveness of the dinner and lure of crème brulee, I think I'm better off avoiding it altogether. If only I wasn't also planning to go home where I'm going to have to beat off offers of food nonstop. Mmm biryani.

Now to do the ten million things I have to do before leaving. Eek!

*dies*

I Judy. A gem from today's email:

"I AM a neurotic bunny, YOU my dear are a neurotic PANTHER or something."

ok ready for fun now

Thus was born the Wednesday Night Post-a-Thon.

Have resorted to watching favorite X-files episodes and scanning through for the cute Mulder/Scully parts. Arcadia *coo*

At least brabble is online and thus I have company or would run mad. No one enjoys my ADD the way she does. I could have gone to dinner. Maybe I should have gone to dinner. But then I'd be antsy at a dinner table with no escape. I feel like a 14 year old the night before summer camp or something.

*runs around in circles*

( File under T for TMI )

In other news, just wanted to say that I worship devinluvsrussia. She is not only driving my bedraggled ass to the airport tomorrow, but even Hobbes-sitting while Ellie is out of town.

Other random hilarity: brabble refers to the LJ user icon as a 'littlepenisthing' and for some reason I find this endlessly hilarious.

I can't pack until tomorrow morning. Hobbes will freak if I pull the suitcase out. So I have to discreetly amass the things I'm taking and then do the actual packing in the morning.

ooo right

Google is sometimes my only reminder for random holidays.

Happy Saint Pat's!

the fall's going to kill you

Ok. Serious ADD. Am posting uncontrollably every 5 minutes. Keep running amok and doing things that don't require more than 45 seconds of continuous concentration. The diet pepsi? Probably not such a good idea.

*bounce* *bounce* * bounce*

Shit shit shit. Just found out that the fucking wedding banquets are still going on for H&M. They were married in freaking August, and I fled the state to avoid them. Apparently there is one on the Saturday before I return to Seattle. *whine*

It's not that I don't love H&M. I do. It's not that I'm not glad they're happily married. I am. But christ on a motherfucking pony, I hate these things. Ooo maybe I can say I have a dinner and call up Hana. They're all afraid of me. They won't stop me. Though Aunt C will give me a reproachful look. Argh. And then I will wither. Gah. Makeup and jewelry. Silk and high heels. Being proper. Blah. H will corner me to have another pleasant chat about the virtues of Islam and I will not only have to keep a straight face, but not smack him upside the head because he's so goddamn earnest. He clearly knows I am a heathen. Ultimately I'll lose my temper, make a cutting remark and he'll slink away like a kicked puppy.

OMFG and being cornered by 3 sets of uncles under the pretense of asking my opinions, which really means that they want me to pass on their dogmatic views to their children via the circuitous cool older-cousin route.

Independently cornered by 3 sets of aunts asking if I'm ready to meet the wedding matchmaker (NO! DEATH FIRST! *bellows*)

Hrm. Will hide in Zia's room. No, can't do that. Will be forced to circulate. And be social. And gracious. And just kill me now.

For some reason, perhaps through strength in numbers, they always gang up on me at parties. When we're alone, they're too afraid of me. Which is as it should be *bares teeth*

Ok, I need to calm down. It's one night. I could have food poisoning or something.

Well, I could.