disturbing but true

Web quiz thing.

Wackiness: 44/100
Rationality: 38/100
Constructiveness: 44/100
Leadership: 68/100

You are an SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a dictator. You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel you have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

[snagged from dtaylor]

I hate to admit it, but it's kind of dead-on. Even the part that says I'm a critical bitch. And I am a dictator. Though I don't feel especially sexy this morning because I didn't wash my hair last night after the pool and I look positively prehistoric .

fuck a buncha that

Last night sucked. Couldn't sleep. Spent the entire night staring at the ceiling and feeling pathetic. I hate when I can't sleep. I count on sleep as an escape from my thoughts. It feels like a betrayal from my body to not be able to shut down and recharge. Kept turning off the light, tossing, turning, turning on the light, reading a bit more. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Nicest part of the evening was when Greg called and did his level best to cheer me up. He was right in coaxing me to get out of the house today, to do Greenlake alone (since Dev is in Russia *wail*) and keep applying. I wish I had his confidence that I'll find work soon.

But I don't really want to leave the house right now. I want to stay in bed with my laptop and watch The Sopranos. Of course this will require some pasta, but I'm going to be good and have some Healthy Choice lasagna bake thing.

Later on I'm supposed to go to Judy's for dinner and a movie with Jeanne. I haven't decided if I'm going to weasel out of that or not. The one thing I absolutely have to do is go buy some Thank You cards to send to my interviewers. Bleh. Thank you for rejecting me and squashing my hopes, dreams, and self-esteem. *melodramatic*

Anyhow. Must purchase cards and mail them TODAY. Before 5pm. I think I'll go to the U Village Hallmark. Annoyed with self for not having foresight to do this yesterday. Grrr. Actually, I wonder if there's a stationary shop in Ballard so I don't have to trek all the way across fucking 45th in stop-go-stop-go traffic.

Ok. Must write out what I want on the stupid cards.

Fuck. Hope clutch issue doesn't come to a head. Need to call Leo at Dere Auto about that, too.

Oh shit. And read Secret Life of Bees for bookclub on Sunday. I haven't gone in like 2 months and really want to get back to that group. Must stop by library and pick that up. Today.

Fucking hell. I just want to hide under my bed forever. Is that really so much to ask for?