verbicide | dude

Work is pure insanity. I mean, I still love working there. I love my boss and coworkers. But omfg. It's insane. INSANE!!!!!

Today was a bit overwhelming. I have so many projects in the work, yet more projects keep coming--before I can even start half of the ones on my waiting list. And they keep making changes to the Tokyo conference!! I'm always working on the Tokyo conference. So nothing else gets done!!!

Thank GOD for Jeff. Be-dimpled and ever-charming. He is such an adorable bunny. When he stopped by my office, we were chatting and I was looking at my hands. I noticed two ink stains in the dead center of my palms. I held them up bemusedly and said, "Jeff, look. Stigmata!"

Half of today was spent in proteomics lectures. Jeff presented! And he was a super genius. And shut up Jeff, yes you are. Don't make me punch you again. Because I will.

I'm still very wobbly from training yesterday. Um. But my arms aren't as sore. My legs on the other hand are still shaking.

And then I came home and ate a lot of pizza. For on the rag am I. And now I'm ensconced in my bloaty tee and granny underwear with my hair up. Because sometimes you just need to celebrate your inner frump.

I need ice cream. But I'm glad I don't have any. Or chocolate. Whine.

It'll be spectacular to go dress-shopping tomorrow while retaining the maximum amount of water humanly possible.

Hobbes has decided to make a tent out of the moose-dress, hanging there in the closet. MOCKING ME.

And I love Luke. God help me.

But omfg Ida will be here like in five minutes. And it will be a bacchanal delight. Wine will pour from the sky. And there will be naked forest dancing and chanting or something. And definitely cheese. And tomato soup!

No, I'm not drunk. But god, I'm so fucking tired. And waaaaaaaaaaaay punchy.

Because omfg I don't know if I'm going to make my deadline on Friday. And on Monday. AND THE EMAILS WONT STOP COMING. AND THEY KEEP CHANGING THE REGISTRATION PAGE FOR TOKYO OMFG AND I CANT TYPE A WORD OF JAPANESE.

God why did I sleep through half my science classes. Fucking organic chemistry is going to haunt me until I'm good and properly dead, isn't it? Fucking electrical potentials. Seething hate. And acid/base chemistry.

Seriously, how can there be so many emails BEFORE NINE BLOODY AM.

I'm so tired. But I'm also so punchy. And so very much on the rag. Which explains the exhaustion today. And brief panicked moments where I thought, "I JUST CANT FUCKING DO THIS" while the motherfucking email kept dinging. EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

But I scheduled a personal day off on Thursday because I might die otherwise, so everything has to be done tomorrow. I worked this past weekend, and will be working next weekend. So it'll be okay. Really. It will be. Though maybe I shouldn't take Thursday off. But I think if I don't, I will have to just kill myself. I can taste Thursday. It takes like freedom. And sleeping in. Worst case scenario, I think I could work a halfday. But omfg I really wanted a day off. And Thursday was the first day in weeks that I was able to squeeze out some time. No meetings! No deadlines for that day! The first day off where no one is visiting, and I'm not travelling and omfg I want it so fucking badly. I was going to go to the post office and plant store and sleep in and go to my happy cafe and have coffee and practice my French and work out without already being tired.

I just need a day to decompress. That isn't packed with a to-do list. And it'll be okay.

And I am going to France next spring, goddammit. I haven't been on a proper vacation since fucking 2000. And I really, really need one.

Fuck. I even have dreams about the Tokyo conference. There is no respite. August needs to come and be fucking over with.

I should really go to bed now. With a book and my kitty.