verbicide | danskin eve

Today has been insanely busy. Between getting ready for the Danskin tomorrow, hanging out with Sarah's lovely family, and preparing some food-to-share at Ellie's post-Danskin BBQ tomorrow, I have effectively managed to not think about the actual task at hand.

Woke up early, met Judy, Jeanne, Ellie and her friend Amy and drove to race registration. It was a zoo. Enormous queues, which happily moved fast enough. It was still, strangely, a shock to see my actual name on the race list and find my race number. I was completely mute because it was so damn frighteningly real. We got our numbers inked on us, picked up our race packages (including a lot of goodie bags from Group Health, Fitness, etc.). I bought a tee-shirt and the whole process took a lot longer than I had foolishly underestimated. But eventually we left and grabbed a quick bite to eat before picking up the bikes from Judy's house and taking them down to the race grounds. It was a little chilling crossing the gate that read, "Athletes Only." I kept thinking someone was going to pull me out and say, "Excuse me, you do NOT belong."

But we parked our bikes, and they walked me around to show me where the buoys were, where the various starts/finishes were. I managed to neither cry nor throw up. Yay for compartmentalizing.

Then Judy drove me back to her house, I got in my car and went to meet Sarah's mom and sister. Poor Sarah had to actually work today, so I picked them up and we went to the mall to grab some food and they helped me pick out some gifts for my friends. I wanted to get them something to thank them for the months and months of inexhaustible encouragement and support they've given so generously. I picked out 5 silver bracelets (for Judy, Kim, Jeanne, and Ellie and one for myself, so we could all have it to remember this by). Something Silver does a very nice job of gift-wrapping, so that was one less thing to worry about. It was very nice to have Deb and Em along. It made the task much more fun. We stopped by Papyrus for cards, a quick stop to gawk at the overpriced, fascinating merchandise at Twist, and by then it was time to go pick up Sarah.

We set out for Capitol Hill to feed Brutus and Buffy. I ran in to feed them, and ran out to take us to see March of the Penguins. Unbelievably cute. Also, I'm very glad I am not a penguin. After the movie, we went back to Jeff's to give the kitties round-two of their meal and hung out there for a bit before round-three (they need to eat in stages for reasons that I don't have the energy to explain). It was nice to hang out and play with the lovely creatures and then I drove the group back to Sarah's where we happily found the cell phone I thought I'd lost earlier in the day.

Finally, I stopped at QFC and got all the ingredients I needed, but forgot celery. Bah, will pick up post race tomorrow. Then home to boil potatoes and eggs for potato salad, and to fill pie shells with ice cream (for, obviously, ice cream pies tomorrow: mocha almond fudge and strawberry).

I know I should have had a low-key evening and have gone to bed at 10. But I think the frenetic energy is keeping me from thinking about the part where I actually do the damn triathlon tomorrow. I'm going to finish this off and then go to bed, it's an early morning tomorrow, Ellie is going to pick me up at 7. I've got my bag packed, my clothes laid out. Everything's ready and goddammit, I am not going to throw up.

I have to admit, being at the registration place today was so...surreal. There I was, surrounded by a sea of amazingly fit women (...one of these things is not like the other). I started to feel so inadequate in comparison. And then I saw a group of women wearing matching pink tee-shirts, which read:

"The miracle isn't that I finished...The miracle is that I had the courage to start." --John Bingham

I think in the end, what I hope to get from this experience is the ability to accept my flaws as a part of being human. And to learn that self-improvement doesn't have to involve self-abuse.