notes to self

[verbicide]

So, going to bed at 6pm with a headache is not a good idea because five hours later, I will be wide awake and unable to sleep for hours. Also, this is why I don't watch creepy/horror movies.

Black Swan

It was so over the top and melodramatic and, in some ways, so obvious, that I wasn't scared at all in the theater. But I knew that when I got home alone, and it got dark, that some of those visions would mess me up. The movie relies on startling, much like my big brother likes to jump at me from behind unexpected doors. I always leap and shriek, but the terror is short lived. Though, frankly, I'm ridiculously easy to startle.

I think Portman's performance and disciple were amazing, yes. I wish there'd been more time to develop her character, so her descent into madness felt more significant and less immediate? Though I suppose her life and weird relationship with her mom were already setting us up for the fact that this is not a normal girl.

I think what affected me the most is that in some weird ways (on a very, very, very reduced scale) I could relate to Nina. I tend to be obsessed with and frustrated by a desire for perfection. And how being so brutal with oneself colors everything that ones sees.

Once I knew that the things happening were in her mind, the movie was less scary--after all, these things weren't really happening outside of her head. I didn't think she'd actually (SPOILER) killed Lily, and so every new horrifying thing we saw, I just wanted for the reveal that it wasn't as Nina was seeing it. Though some of the things were really gross. For some reason, the scene where she peels back her finger skin grossed me out the most.

And, I think in some ways they went too far with the swan transformation--the scene where the wings erupt out of her as she's dancing = beautiful. But the choking-neck-elongation and her legs cracking backwards = no. Totally took me out of the scene because it was just so visually silly.

I think some of the images are going to haunt me for awhile, because that's what my mind does when it sees something it doesn't want to. But I'm still glad I saw it.


Winter's Bone

Damn. That was hard core. What a tremendous performance--by Jennifer Lawrence, but really by everyone. It was probably the most depressingly believable movie I've seen so far. I wasn't sure how it was going to end, though I couldn't imagine a happy ending with her dad popping back up. The slow discovery of what had probably happened, even if I couldn't quite understand why it happened, was intense.

Also, where does Ree get her steely reserve from? Not her poor mentally-vanished mom. Her dad? We never see him, so we never know. But seeing her teaching her little brother and sister the skills they needed to survive, was so telling--she was afraid she wouldn't be around to do these things for them and wanted them to have their best possible chance of survival. (Too many pronouns in that sentence, ugh.)

The odd comment I'll make is that for much of the movie I was so stressed out that something was going to happen to one of the many animals in the movie. It kept me in a near constant state of freakout. "Why are they showing the dog, what's going to happen to the dog, omg!" So despite being freaked out, by the end of the movie I was really freaking grateful that no animal was shown to be hurt.

Nothing like a movie like this to make one wildly aware of one's privilege and luxurious comfort.

I think on my 'must watch' list that leaves:

Social Network (seeing on Feb 2 when it releases to Amazon as a rental)
True Grit (seeing next weekend with my cousin)
The Fighter (seeing next weekend with Pete)
The Illusionist (haven't been able to get a handle on yet)
Restreop (netflix instant watch queue)
Exit Through The Gift Shop (netflix instant watch queue)

Comments

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I had a long talk with my dad about movies the other day - he had just gone to see Black Swan, and he was pretty creeped out by it, too. I would really like to be able to see that movie - I heard an interview with Natalie Portman on NPR, and it sounded interesting and I do normally like her - but honestly, there's just no way I can see that movie after the things I've heard about it.

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

I can't say I blame you. I absolutely cannot do horror normally, but I just couldn't resist seeing this one. I'm paying for it now by being creeped out, but I hope that in time that'll fade! I mean, it's not like it was The Saw or whatever, but it had some pretty freaky moments.

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

And she has body issues, too, right? I know they're - depressingly - somewhat normal for ballerinas, and I have a vaguely healthy body image most of the time, but from past experience, it maybe isn't the best idea for me to read/watch lots of stuff about people with really unhealthy body images.

But yes, also, ick on the horror.

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

She's anorexic and there are a couple of scenes with her throwing up and one where she's anxious about eating cake. But she seemed so crazy in so many ways, her body issues didn't stand out for me so much as her obsessed perfection with getting this role, and then being perfect in the role, while being frustrated that she wasn't able to loosen up enough to do the part of the role that calls for more abandon and less technical perfection.

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

I just read through the wikipedia article, and it really didn't say much about that - so it does sound like the horror and ick factor would be more of an issue.

I know it's silly, but I usually watch romantic comedies these days... I hate being scared and disgusted and depressed, and I generally am not willing to do so unless it's worth the trouble. So I watch some important movies that have that stuff in them, but I don't watch movies that are just horror for the sake of horror. (Similarly, I really wanted to watch Inglorious Basterds, because I heard a great interview on NPR, but I couldn't bring myself to watch that one, either!)

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

I tend towards that, too--I avoid movies that I think are just full of unhappiness and unpleasantness. I don't think that's silly at all.

But I really hate being scared or depressed, too. And a lot of the movies I've seen recently have had pretty depressing topics, but I've been grateful that they haven't just been flat-out harrowing, either. Some moments of light, hope.

I really liked Inglorious Basterds, and that was one I really was sure I didn't want to see. Would it bother you to ffwd through the unpleasant parts? Or does that defeat the purpose of watching the movie?

(Regardless--it's just movies. If you're not enjoying watching them, then it's not worth watching them.)

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess I feel like fast forwarding through the ick doesn't work. (Plus, even if I try to look away, I generally watch anyway, and then I'm just sorry I did.) If I know that it's one part (Braveheart is a good example - there's the one beheading and that's pretty much it), then it's not so bad, but if it's pervasive, it's tough to feel like you still watched the movie.

Often, I make Brian watch movies that I think are going to be good, and if he says they aren't really all that gory, then I'll consider watching them. (The Hurt Locker is on our queue, for example, because I've heard that movie is great but kind of violent.)

Plus, all those movies reduce my availability for book-reading. :)

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, after the beheading, I had to turn off the movie and never watch it again. I just couldn't do it, I was so upset.

The Hurt Locker was really great--and yeah violent, but nothing that left me feeling traumatized.

And yes--more time for books!

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

Brian covers my eyes for the beheading - I've managed to never see that one.

Actually, one of the more traumatizing movies that I used to watch a lot is American History X - I feel like the violence is pretty important for the story line, and you don't even see most of it onscreen, but it really sticks with me.

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

American History X--that curb scene--totally freaked me out and I still have flashbacks of horror when I see the curb sometimes!

[margotheangel.livejournal.com]

Augh. Yes.