home sweet not-snow-covered home!

[verbicide]

So, I'm back! Hi!

And since I feel too discombobulated to actually write content, I share with you the Food Network's Sandra "I Can't Cook at ALL But I Am on TV" Lee and her famous Kwanzaa Cake.

I can't believe it's not a parody of her show. Except that this is exactly the kind of crap she always makes.

Comments

[serenity-valley.livejournal.com]

TRALALA YOU ARE BACK AND WELCOME HOME!

Also. This show is kryptonite to my husband. Even just flipping past it with the remote will cause him to convulse and twitch. IT'S LIKE THE VULCAN DEATH GRIP FOR PROFESSIONAL CHEFS TRUFAX.

(I remember seeing her do this cake. I don't know why -- I don't watch her show -- but there was just a certain trainwreck quality to it that I just couldn't look away. It's just...yeah, it left me fucking speechless, and that's really saying something as you well know. Oh, and the way her kitchen and her dishes and implements and props and her fucking outfit all match whatever that episode's theme is??? FLAMES FLAMES LICKING THE SIDE OF MY FACE.)

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

HI!!!! *shriek*

OMG you should talk to Jeff. The tsunami of profanity that explodes out of me every time I see her is fairly colorful! (T would blanch if she could see the colors around me.) We can't even really watch it as a joke because I get so incredibly insensible with rage about it!!!

YES THE FUCKING MATCH-Y OUTFITS!!! And her fucking tablescape!!! And cocktail hour or whatthefuckever!

UNCLEAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

[serenity-valley.livejournal.com]

The tablescape, yes! What the fuck is a tablescape? All the cutesy matchy and the clutter and tchotchkes* and the whatever the hell. And yes, the fucking hell with the beverages every episode that are 100-proof. Christ lady, it's called AA -- look into it.

I...kind of want to put you and S in a room together to watch this show for the sheer entertainment. Jeff and I could observe -- through bulletproof glass, of course -- and eat popcorn.

*I typed this three times and then I was all fuck it, I don't give a shit how to spell it, she knows what I mean. My little Firefox spellchecker thing doesn't know how to spell it, either, but one of the options it gives me is "crotchless". Ten minutes later and this is still hilarious to me.

[verbicide.livejournal.com]

Jeff would be too afraid of the grudge I would carry for eternity. (PH34R M3!!11!!)

And god, I love spellcheck some days.

[makena-smiles.livejournal.com]

I just BUSTED out laughing. in fact I'm still laughing almost uncontrollably and am at work and am going to start getting funny looks... oh no! The phone...

The person on the other end probably thought I was in the midst of a stroke. It's really hard to laugh uncontrollably and talk. Oh thank you for that! crotchless... he he.