home sweet not-snow-covered home!
Dec. 29th, 2008 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verbicideSo, I'm back! Hi!
And since I feel too discombobulated to actually write content, I share with you the Food Network's Sandra "I Can't Cook at ALL But I Am on TV" Lee and her famous Kwanzaa Cake.
I can't believe it's not a parody of her show. Except that this is exactly the kind of crap she always makes.
And since I feel too discombobulated to actually write content, I share with you the Food Network's Sandra "I Can't Cook at ALL But I Am on TV" Lee and her famous Kwanzaa Cake.
I can't believe it's not a parody of her show. Except that this is exactly the kind of crap she always makes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2008-12-30 05:56 am (UTC)Also. This show is kryptonite to my husband. Even just flipping past it with the remote will cause him to convulse and twitch. IT'S LIKE THE VULCAN DEATH GRIP FOR PROFESSIONAL CHEFS TRUFAX.
(I remember seeing her do this cake. I don't know why -- I don't watch her show -- but there was just a certain trainwreck quality to it that I just couldn't look away. It's just...yeah, it left me fucking speechless, and that's really saying something as you well know. Oh, and the way her kitchen and her dishes and implements and props and her fucking outfit all match whatever that episode's theme is??? FLAMES FLAMES LICKING THE SIDE OF MY FACE.)
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Date: 2008-12-30 05:59 am (UTC)OMG you should talk to Jeff. The tsunami of profanity that explodes out of me every time I see her is fairly colorful! (T would blanch if she could see the colors around me.) We can't even really watch it as a joke because I get so incredibly insensible with rage about it!!!
YES THE FUCKING MATCH-Y OUTFITS!!! And her fucking tablescape!!! And cocktail hour or whatthefuckever!
UNCLEAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
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Date: 2008-12-30 06:11 am (UTC)I...kind of want to put you and S in a room together to watch this show for the sheer entertainment. Jeff and I could observe -- through bulletproof glass, of course -- and eat popcorn.
*I typed this three times and then I was all fuck it, I don't give a shit how to spell it, she knows what I mean. My little Firefox spellchecker thing doesn't know how to spell it, either, but one of the options it gives me is "crotchless". Ten minutes later and this is still hilarious to me.
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:33 am (UTC)And god, I love spellcheck some days.
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:14 pm (UTC)The person on the other end probably thought I was in the midst of a stroke. It's really hard to laugh uncontrollably and talk. Oh thank you for that! crotchless... he he.
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Date: 2008-12-30 05:58 am (UTC)How is she even still on Food Network? Compared to her, Rachael Ray's a master chef.
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Date: 2008-12-30 06:02 am (UTC)Every time she or anyone else mentions her Cordon Bleu training, my ears start bleeding.
Rachael Ray's stuff never looks like anything I want to eat, but I get that to some people it's fast and fun-seeming (a taco AND a pizza! whee!) But Sandra Lee's shit just flummoxes me. WHY?? WHY??
(Sorry. I can wax on endlessly about the Hate.)
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Date: 2008-12-30 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 06:13 am (UTC)If it would get me a paycheck from Food Network, I would totally add flavorings to canned frosting and slather it over store-bought cake, jam some candles in it and set it down next to a fugly flower arrangement. And then I would laugh and laugh and laugh. Hell, I'd even wear the reindeer sweaters.
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:33 am (UTC)(But I don't think there's anything wrong with chicken casserole, for the record.)
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Date: 2008-12-30 06:48 am (UTC)Oh, right it's Sandra Lee.
What are the acorns she keeps talking about? They look like albino CornNuts. Angel food is angel food because it's low fat and low calorie. If you're gonna ice and fill and poke candles into it.... just make a FUCKING cake already. Oh and a tube pan can be used for other cakes as well.
*twitch*
OMG WAIT! She references Le Courdon Bleu Training?
I can simply live no longer; shoot me now!
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:35 am (UTC)She must have hit cocktail hour earlier.
And I know. The Cordon Bleu thing totally makes me not want to live anymore, too. *WOE*
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 01:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 08:21 pm (UTC)Is that store bought frosting (on a "cooking" show????)!? Is it ever a good idea to put taper candles in a cake? Someone should let her know they make candles especially for cakes. And, were those corn nuts? I've never heard of corn nuts on a cake? And what was the canned good she put in the middle?
Shoot, my toddler could make a nicer cake than that. Yuck.
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Date: 2008-12-30 08:22 pm (UTC)No!
YES!
YES!
I KNOW!
Canned apples, for god's sake!
YES!
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Date: 2008-12-30 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-30 10:08 pm (UTC)